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Pokey Minch
Pokey Minch (ポーキー・ミンチ''Pōkī Minchi''), named Porky Minch in Super Smash Bros. Brawl and ''the ''Mother 3 fan translation, is a character in EarthBound and Mother 3. He is a boy from the suburbs of Onett, Ness's portly and obnoxious next-door neighbor, and the older brother of Picky Minch. Pokey's family seems to hold a grudge against Ness', because his father, Aloysius Minch, allegedly loaned a few hundred thousand dollars to Ness's father (though Aloysius admits it could have been a lot less), and was never repaid. Although he and his father found work in Fourside as consultants for the city's mayor, the Minchs continued to feud with Ness's family. Pokey's battle music in EarthBound is untitled, but it is known as "Cease to Exist" in Japan and "Pokey Means Business" elsewhere. His themes in Mother 3 are "Master Porky's Theme" and "Absolutely Safe Capsule", and are played during the initial confrontations with him and following his retreat into the Absolutely Safe Capsule, respectively. Biography In EarthBound At the beginning of EarthBound, Pokey lives with his parents, Aloysius and Lardna, and his younger brother Picky in the house next door to Ness's. In the Mother 2 manual it is stated that all of the kids in Onett aside from Ness, Tracey, and his brother Picky always have hated and made fun of Pokey because of his weight making comments like hey look! Here comes the pig! This plus his being beaten by his father on a regular basis is what caused Pokey to be corrupted by Giygas with the promise of understanding, companionship, and revenge against everyone who has been hurtful to him. Pokey has no friends besides Ness who Pokey refers to as his best friend. When a meteor shower occurs in the mountains north of their houses in Onett, Pokey and his younger brother Picky sneak out of their house to investigate. When Picky turns up missing, Pokey turns to Ness, pleading him to help him find his younger brother, clearly because he is too cowardly to go alone. After sweet-talking Ness' mother and convincing Ness to help him, they head off to look for Picky. At the meteorite landing site, Ness, Pokey, and Picky meet Buzz Buzz, an alien from 10 years in the future. Pokey learns of the impending destruction of the universe at the hands of Giygas, but convinces himself that he is not one of the heroes that the alien speaks of. Suddenly, they are confronted by one of Giygas's cohorts, Starman Junior. Pokey cowers in fear while Ness and Picky assist Buzz Buzz in defeating the alien. After Ness escorts Pokey and Picky safely home, Pokey isn't seen again for some time. Pokey first resurfaces as a high priest of the Happy Happyist cult, led by Carpainter. Pokey kidnaps Paula with the intention of performing a human sacrifice. When Ness confronts him, he orders two of the cult's followers to attack Ness. After the cult is disbanded, he and his father end up working as business consultants for Fourside mayor Geldegarde Monotoli. He uses the money to live a luxurious life, but he eventually steals Monotoli's helicopter after Monotoli is confronted by Ness. That helicopter is shown to have crashed in the Deep Darkness, and Pokey is not seen again for a long period of time. Nevertheless, Pokey still causes trouble for Ness behind the scenes: it is revealed that Pokey stole the first Phase Distorter in order to escape to the Cave of the Past. Pokey finally reappears at the right hand of Giygas within the Cave of the Past, pale and discolored from side-effects of time traveling, in an organic spider-like mech. At this point, Pokey reveals to Ness that it was Giygas that had been leading him all along. He expresses to Ness his new belief that Giygas should destroy the universe, and attacks Ness and his friends (in their robotic forms) alongside Giygas. Once Giygas is destroyed, Pokey uses time travel to escape into another era, but not before taunting Ness one last time. His last message comes through Picky in a suspicious hate letter that says, "Come and get me, loser! Spankety spankety spankety!" In Mother 3 Throughout Mother 3, Porky's presence is never explicitly mentioned, though it is implied. As early as Chapter 4, there are references to "King P", such as a mention in the DCMC song title. Throughout the game, there are also references to "Pork" in different scenarios, such as "Pork troopers" or "Pork chips". In the Thunder Tower of Chapter 5, Porky's playroom is visited, with numerous references to Earthbound in it, though it is merely talked about as "the King's playroom". Finally, at the end of Chapter 7, it is clearly stated that the King is indeed Porky, and Lucas and his friends are brought to his city of New Pork City. Here, Porky's presence is emphasized, with many statues and dolls of him appearing, as well as a theater that shows pictures from Earthbound. The aforementioned playroom and Leder Bell's speech, as well as the appearance of the Porky idols, imply that Porky is somehow still a child in the time. Throughout the Empire Pork Building, Porky taunts Lucas and co. through his intercom. When the top of the tower is finally reached, Porky himself appears, looking only slightly older than his Earthbound self. He then asks the player if they want to befriend him, but once they answer, he explodes, revealing himself to only be a robot version of Porky. Several other Porky-bots join, battling Lucas all at once. When this is over, the actual Porky arrives in his spider mech. However, his appearance is very surprising; he is extremely old and frail, coughing in nearly every sentence because of his misuse of time travel. He explains how his servant is about to pull the final needle, and that there is nothing Lucas & co. can do about it. After that, he leaves in a shortcut to the location. Porky soon confronts them in a large spider mecha near the final battle location. Throughout the battle, he reveals that he has learned PSI, being able to perform inexplicable attacks much like Giygas could. During the battle, he explains that due to time travel, he has become immortal, as well as unkillable, stressing that when the Dragon is awakened, he will be the only one left so that everyone who doesn't like him will be gone (referencing his sadness of being picked on all the time by the kids of Onett) and that he is prepared for such a fate. When he sees he is to be defeated, he calls upon the "Absolutely Safe Capsule" and climbs inside. It seals Porky inside, and being true to its name, it protects Porky from all harm. However, Porky finds that he cannot harm the heroes, either. When the battle ends, Dr. Andonuts reveals that he built the Absolutely Safe Capsule with the specifications that once someone is inside, the machine cannot be opened by anyone, including the person inside of it. So while Pokey is indeed "absolutely safe", he is trapped in the machine forever, doomed to spend eternity in isolation. Andonuts even feels sympathy for the tyrant, as in his own words, ". . . All he can do now is spend eternity inside the capsule, in absolute safety. At the end of the game, when the player is traveling in the darkness, they come into contact with an object that rolls with glee. While they may not be able to tell what it is, it is most likely Porky having survived the destruction of the land, as the Pigmask theme plays when you touch it. It is possible that he actually felt better after the events that took place. Personality In both games, Pokey Minch is shown to be very immature, even when his body ages beyond his own measure. He can be extremely obnoxious, and is also shown to be very selfish and egotistical. Pokey does not appear to be self-conscious about his weight, or his resemblance to a pig (as King P, the naming of virtually every facet of his empire refers to pigs, such as the Pig Mask Army, and New Pork City.) Though he is naturally mischievous, after Pokey is corrupted by Giygas, his childish sense of humor becomes increasingly malicious. He actively seeks the destruction of the universe in Earthbound, and in Mother 3 his antics nearly wipe out the Nowhere Islands, costing the lives of an untold number of the island's inhabitants, at the very least the lives of Hinawa and Claus. In Super Smash Bros. Brawl Pokey Minch has also appeared in Super Smash Bros. Brawl's adventure mode, The Subspace Emissary, as a boss. Here, he is seen as a high-ranked member of the Subspace Army who attacks Lucas and Ness in The Ruined Zoo using his Pig King Statue and a fleet of Primids. Before the Statue can kill Lucas, Ness appears and destroys the Statue with PK Flash. From the exploding Statue emerges Pokey in his Mother 3 spider mech, but he is quickly defeated by Ness and Lucas in a boss battle. In this appearance he is referred to "Porky", a more proper translation of his name. It was most likely changed for this game because of his pig-themed empire in Mother 3, as well as all the signs saying "PORKY" in New Pork City, because of this, the Mother 3 fan translation also uses "Porky" rather than "Pokey." Trivia * As with Giygas before him, Pokey's attacks in Mother 3 are stated to be inexplicable (more specifically, "What did Porky do?!") although one is described as "spraying" ("Porky sprayed something from some sort!"), while another is described as "sucking" in nature. Another one has an animation as if a party character was throwing a bomb (Though Porky's animation shows him "throwing" lots of bombs). * Despite his rivalry with Ness in EarthBound, it's likely that Pokey actually admired his neighbor, and desperately wanted to be his friend. In Mother 3, for example, the cinema in New Pork City shows a film chronicling Ness's adventures in EarthBound, and a cinema employee states that Pokey hand-selected the film to be shown. Pokey also has a large collection of EarthBound memorabilia on the 100th floor of the Empire Pork Building. Finally, the yo-yo weapon that Lucas obtains in Pokey's play room in Thunder Tower is called "Friend's Yo-Yo," meaning that Pokey may have still thought of Ness as a friend. It is apparent that he also treasures it, and possibly misses Ness, as his robotic maid only cares about that specific object. * In the Japanese version of EarthBound known as MOTHER 2, Pokey states that if his parents find out he and Picky were out late, he gets spanked 100 times; this had to be changed because of child abuse/violence. Thus, in the American version of EarthBound, he only says that if his dad gets back he'll really get it. (He gets no dessert for the rest of the decade.) * In an unused set of sprites found in Mother 3, Porky's Bed Mecha breaks, and he rises from the mech in a capsule, perhaps in an attempt to escape, only to fall to the floor, breaking the capsule and dies, in a bloodied heap as a sad slow version of His Highness' theme plays. It is also hinted that he was going to apologize for the last time . * Pokey's "skills" as a temporary party member in EarthBound are as follows: ** Complains to Ness. ** Uses Ness as a shield. ** Pretends to cry. ** Smiles insincerely. ** Plays dead. ** Thinks to himself. ** Apologizes profusely. ** Tries to edge closer to the enemy. ** Acts all innocent. Obviously, Pokey has no real helpful skills. List of Quotes Earthbound *"Spankety, spankety, spankety!" *"Ness, let's be friends again. Please answer me. I promise to be good. ...uh...okay... (''walks away slowly) ''Hah! I lied! See you, sucker!" *Response to Buzz Buzz: "Three boys, he said? ...Uhhh...I'm not one of those three, am I?...'Cause... I'm not into this kind of thing at all..." *(after punishment,) "My dad really came after me... he said I don't get dessert for an entire decade..." *"Heh heh heh heh. You must really be at the end of your rope." *"In this bizarre dimension, you four are the only force fighting for justice..." *"And here you stand, ' waiting to be burned up with all the rest of the garbage of this universe..." *"Haaaaah! That's so sad. I can't help but shed a tear." *"You know, my heart is beating incredibly fast." *"...I must be experiencing absolute terror!" *''"Do you want to scream for help here in the dark?!" *"Ha ha ha ha ha!" *"Why not call your mommy, Ness! Say, "Mommy! Daddy! I'm so frightened! I think I'm gonna wet my pants!" *"''I know you have telepathy, or something, so just try and call for help, you pathetically weak heroes of so-called justice!" *"No one will help you now!" *"Ha ha ha haah..." *(through Picky's message)'' "Come and get me, loser! Spankety, spankety, spankety!"'' Mother 3 *''"*cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* This is really no time for games anymore. I don't feel like letting you go any further."'' *''"If you're after the needle, then don't worry. My adorable monster is on its way to it as we speak."'' *''"Huh? That monster's name is Claus? Its name was Claus? That almost sounds like a person's name! But now it's my robot. Not even a fragment of life remains inside it. It's Master Porky's slave robot! It does whatever i say! It acts on my will alone. It's my double. It doesn't know anything about who you are."'' *''"Let me fill you in on something. No matter how much you attack me, I'll never die. Even if I somehow wind up beaten, I'll never die. Bet you didn't know that, did you?"'' *''"If the dragon wakes up, it might end up destroying everything and extinguishing all life. Even so, ahaha aha ahahahahahaha!!"'' *''"I've gone through time and space so many times I haven't aged like a normal person. Who knows, I might be 1000 years old, or even 10,000 years old. But despite that, I'm still the same kid at heart! Is that funny? It is, isn't it? Does it make you laugh? *cough* *wheeze* Are you laughing at me?!"'' *''"Now do you see?! Now do you understand the sadness Master Porky bears now that he's Godlike?''" Category:Mother 3 Characters Category:Mother 3 Enemies Category:Giygas Category:People from Onett Category:Pigmask Army Category:Temporary party members in EarthBound Category:Mother 3 Bosses Category:EarthBound Bosses Category:EarthBound Characters Category:Mother 3 Characters Category:Happy Happyism Category:Bosses